Friday, October 30, 2015

Halloween Watermelon Spooktacular

Grace was asked by her boss to pull an overnighter at work, and I accidentally mistook Brody's atomoxetine for NyQuil (Doh!), so it looks like I have the living room to myself for the evening. However, since TBS has removed Everybody Love Raymond reruns from their lineup, I finally found some time to blog.

With Halloween creeping around the corner, I took some time today to treat my son to a well-known holiday tradition: pumpkin carving! However, with Brody being allergic to pumpkin seeds, I decided we'd use watermelons instead. And what spooky watermelons they turned out to be!

We began by scooping out the tasty innards. Brody said the watermelon guts reminded him of cherry-flavored Italian ice. I told him it reminded me of coagulated blood. Hey, why didn't the watermelon visit the haunted house? Because it had no guts! (LOL!)

 Get a load of these melons (LOL!)

Once hollowed, it was time we got to carving. I mapped out a profile of Ronon Dex from Stargate: Atlantis on my watermelon while Brody quickly got to slicing and dicing (which made me really angry because it was hard work hollowing out those melons, but I bit my tongue until the pain overrode my anger). Unfortunately, some of the residing anger cause me to become reckless and slice my finger with the carving knife. I politely reminded Brody to not make me angry or mistakes like this are bound to continue. Nevertheless, Brody had a lot of fun carving his watermelon, despite his little mishap.

Apparently Valium is a blood thinner.

Once finished, I suggested we take a few minutes beholding our masterpieces (To tell you the truth, I could've gandered at my "water-magnum opus" all night).

I left the blood on mine to give it that extra scare factor.
Brody's is the bad one (LOL!).

It was a lovely experience I got to share with my boy and one that I couldn't resist sharing with you guys.

Keep on dadding!

Monday, October 19, 2015

An Dadicated Introduction

My wife, Grace, is late for dinner again! Can you believe that her boss forced her to work overtime for the third time this week? For the love of gosh, it's only Wednesday. Sometimes I think she likes her boss more than she likes me (LOL!).

The souffle is cooling rapidly before me, and my boredom struggles to find ways to keep my mind occupied. So as a result, I've decided to take up blogging. All the stay-at-home mommies are doing it (That's the gossip around the playground, anyway), so why shouldn't I?

So, let's smash the seltzer water off this new boat's bow with a few introductions!

Here's me, Chiz (I think the name is Spanish, but looking at my complexion, you'd think it'd originated from Winterland, WY).
 I get my looks from myself (LOL!)

I'm a stay-at-home daddy, but I much prefer the term full-time father. I enjoy pistachio ice cream with chocolate jimmies (Don't you dare call them sprinkles, or I'll have to give you a stern talking to!), and my favorite movie is Battlefield Earth (But, I'd be lying if I said Giant Spider Invasion wasn't a close second!). I absolutely love ginger ale. Sometimes, I add a bit a grenadine to give it an extra bit of flavor (But don't you go telling my wife now, y'hear?). I also take Valium.

Next in line is little Brody (Same name as Grace's awful boss, as misfortune would have it).
I think the tan skin skipped a generation.

Brody is the kind of child that never ceases to surprise you. Sometimes, my body is overflowing with so much pride that I could start my own one-man parade. Other times, I just want to strangle him to death with a bungee cord, dash his brains against the fireplace, and stuff his body under the couch cushions (LOL!). He is 4-years-old, but has the build and intelligence of a 4.5-year-old. His favorite movie is Battlefield Earth (But, I'd be lying if I said Giant Spider Invasion wasn't his close second!). He also loves pistachio ice cream but doesn't care for ginger ale, which kind of pisses me off. He also attends weekly psychotherapy sessions. There's nothing wrong with him; it's just better to be safe than sorry.

Then, there's my wife, Grace.
This is a drawing of my wife.

Sometimes I call her Goodbye Grace because she's always leaving (for work, that is). She works at an ad agency. She said her role in the company is too complicated for me to understand, so I'm not exactly sure what her job entails. Her favorite movie is In Secret (But, I'd be lying if I said A Perfect Murder wasn't her close second). She enjoys vanilla ice cream, and loves, loves, loves wine. She also has very cold skin and doesn't believe in God.

Anyway, I unfortunately have to end the post here as I think I've heard the door open... Oops, false alarm! Dang wind is brutal this time of year. Regardless, I'm logging off to reheat the souffle, again. Stay tuned to hear of all the adventures, misadventures, and musings of my loving family.

Keep on dadding!